pure concentrated rage

I live in fucking regret every day. I wallow in it. I am a loser, a geek, and ugly. Completely fucking ugly. I whine and bitch about my life and my circumstances. I expect you to listen and fucking CARE. The most arrogant bastard alive-- and probably also the most unfeeling, uncaring, and insensitive as well. I have a positive outlook toward self-hatred. It would do the world a favor if somebody would just fucking OFF me. I hate children and teenagers. I hate myself and I hate you. Everything arises from chaos and seeks order. I bleed, for you. I hate you because you aren't strong enough to hate yourself. Your pissy little world isn't enough for me. Own a dog. I'm an idiot. I'm clumsy. I don't understand innuendo, subtlety, or hints. I've lied to, hurt, broken, lost, and desecrated everything and everyone that I've ever loved or who has ever loved me. Pack your fucking god and your fucking love up and get the fuck out. My job has eaten my soul. I love so many people who can never love me. I never had a soul. The concept is bullshit. I am a huge disappointment. I'm fat. I'm dishonest. I dream about being more than I am, but know it's only a dream. I realize that everyone has hated me for a long, long time. Drink alcohol and inbreed. I am powered by rage, and driven by anger. I want to find someone else like me. I want to harness the power of indifference, and learn what it means to really stop caring. I hate for you because you do not understand how to hate properly. If other people think you are grotesque, I want to know you. I can only assume I'll be alone forever. I see spots before my eyes. I don't drive a van. You just wouldn't fucking understand. Shit on my love for you. What you see as beauty I see as ugliness. Sickening the beautiful people would be justice enough. All my friends are gone, or going-- it appears that I'm destined to suffer through this in solitude. Throughout history, there have existed few people lazier than I. I'm such a pathetic prick. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. I've always deserved this. I will always be deserving of this. I am this monster. I am your monster. So far I've found you five times-- four times if you forgive my indiscretion. Give me some fucking motivational drivel, religion, and a camping trip, then fuck the fuck off. Do not tell me this is art. This isn't expression, it's excretion. Tell me how serious you are about being annoying. Let your fucking kids run wild in the back yard. Don't you dare fucking hurt the cats. I am determined to see that this text grows longer every day. I am determined to stop caring. Look at me! I'm a divorce statistic! I am determined to be loathed and to loathe. I am a fat, smelly fucking dem-o-graphic. I should probably take up playing fucking computer games, realtime chat, and smoking. I think that teenagers killing other teenagers is funny. I long to find somebody who I can appreciate. I should set myself on fire. I should be trendy, enigmatic, and wacky. I should drive into a tractor trailer. You should boil your head. Please just let me suffer. I wish I had nothing to lose. Is there anybody else out there that feels like me? I suffer so you do not have to. You should suffer, too. All of you should suffer. Married, detached, with two kids and years too old for me-- do you know what kind of hell that is? Just stop being attractive to me! I am cursed to be the only person that has ever seen myself as special. Are you ugly? Do you hate you? Could you hate me, too?